Does
your teen talk back, yell, scream or even get physically violent at
times? Does your tween often throw tantrums, behave inappropriately
or answer rudely when spoken to? Has your child’s conduct started
hampering her social life?
Unfortunately,
this is a common problem that a lot of parents face. Most parents
accept it as a compulsive phase that kids go through during
adolescence, or as natural trait of boldness or confidence that comes
innately with younger generation. But if you see symptoms of
aggression in your child, do not ignore it. It’s a problem that
needs to be addressed to, as and when it occurs. If a child is
aggressive and disrespectful, chances are that this trait will only
get worse with time.
Your
child’s aggression is symptom of a problem and not the actual
problem itself. Hence the first step towards dealing with your
child’s extreme behavior is understanding the problem that might be
causing it. Is there something at home that’s bothering your child?
Is there a dominant spouse situation or insecurity that’s bothering
her? Is she being bullied in school? Is she under peer pressure? Does
she have inferiority complex? There can be so many other
possibilities. Instead of assuming and thinking that you know the
problem, observe and investigate to find out the exact root cause. Do
not rule out the possibility of medical or sensory problems that
might case aggression. Get your child tested.
Once
you’ve established the reason, and while you start working on the
cause of the problem, you will still have to deal with the kid’s
anger. Here’s what you can do on a regular basis to curb aggression
and bouts of anger in your child.
- Give attention. Many a times the child might be feeling ignored, and many a times not. In either of the cases, spending some quality time with the kid would help. Kids tend to get insecure in stress situations, and some warm parent-child time would ease out a lot of creases in her life. Although, you will have to judge, how and when would the kid needs that sort of attention. Don’t force yourself on her, that’ll just worsen your kid’s situation.
- Work with your child to nailing the problem. Don’t try and manage the problem all on your own, involve your child. Let her know that you are genuinely working towards understanding what’s bothering her. When your child is ready to trust you, she will slowly open up. Let her get to the comfort zone.
- Do not combat anger with anger. When the kid’s in a moment of rage, do not try and control it with shouting, yelling or hitting the child. you would not only aggravate the situation but also set a wrong example.
- Understand triggers and work on them. Find out what triggers anger in the kid. For instance, Sara gets really angry when she’s mocked upon. Even though, Sara’s mom cannot control the outside environment, she has asked Sara to ignore when someone says something rude, look in the other direction and count until ten before reacting. This settles the immediate outburst and allows Sara for some cool-down time. Similarly, you will have to understand what is triggering the aggression and find a way that works best for your kid. You will have to do this with your child’s help.
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