If
you are a sports parent, don’t you just love being a part of your
kid’s sports life? Aren’t you excited that your kid is enjoying
the game so much? Well, we all do. But for most parents, this
excitement soon crosses the line to become an obsession, and then the
whole emphasis on winning and sports career and college scholarship
comes into picture.
Not
only does this obsession spoil the fun for your child, it spoils the
game for all involved, the coach, the team, everyone. The obsessionis contagious. Some kids who came together just for the fun of
playing a game, now represent the school team, a school team that
needs to represent school, win tournaments, produce star athletes and
so on. While all of this is actually as good as it sounds, there’s
a little problem here: not all kids want to become pro athletes or
star champions, and not all the kids are cut out to do so. It’s not
because the kid lacks a skill or two, it’s because the kid just
doesn’t want to. This is a double-edge sword. For parents who are
spending a fortune on the kid’s training, it’s natural for them
to expect the kid to compete and go as high as she can, or even push
limits and perform beyond the imagined capacity, and for kids who
like to play but do not want to go pro, it’s unnecessary pressure
they have to live in.
For
most parents the concern is pretty natural; if my child is playing,
and is playing well, maybe she’s too small to realize she could
excel in it only if her natural talent nurtured well and skills are
honed. This is a valid concern. But on the other hand, there are many
kids who play very well but maybe want a career in some other field,
or do not want to make the career choice as yet and live in the
pressure.
Where
do you draw the line? How do you decide whether the kid needs to take
pro training or not? While these questions sound so complicated in
themselves the answer is pretty simple: why be in a hurry to decide
as yet.
My
advice to parents: let kids be. If your child has in-born talent and
liking for the game, you wouldn’t be able to stop her. There are so
many athletic stories that tell us that talent and passion would
bloom, irrespective of the background, the facilities etc. If she is
willing to be a part of the team, don’t stop her. If she doesn’t
want to be a part of the team, motivate her, but do not force her.
Even if you make her join a club or a pro training program, make sure
the training is age appropriate, and most of all, your kid is
enjoying it.
If
you see signs of fatigue, anxiety, dullness and see a repeated
pattern in it, perhaps it’s time to talk to your kid. Take her into
confidence, and try and understand if she is getting bogged down
because of the pressure or she is not liking the game. If, at any
point you feel she’s wants to quit and for the right reasons, let
her.
Sports
are supposed to be good, positive activity for kids. But if this
activity becomes the very reason for negativity, anxiety, depression
etc. in your kid’s life, make her quit. Understand not everyone was
born to become a sports champion; let your kid become the champion of
what she wants.
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