Holidays can be a curious time. While elders tend to splurge on the warmth of the season with jolly parties and luscious food, kids, especially tweens and teens, tend to have an agenda of their own. Mostly kids spend holidays either playing video games or texting and chatting with friends or on social media.
If you are anxious about your kid’s habits, and particularly how they behave around friends and family, here’s some tried and tested advice to help you have a presumably sorted relation with your kids.
The root cause
Most parents wonder where did the child learn tantrums or misconduct. More so, why are kids at their worst best in front of extended family, friends or even guests? The answer to these questions invariably is, they learn it from us, parents. The child has learned it from a pattern. Kids, as toddlers, throw tantrums for little things. Seeing it as a harmless little wish, we tend to satisfy that demand. Over time kids learn that throwing a tantrum, scorning and misbehaving in public has double the impact. So, practically kids get a remote control in their hands that can control the behavior in public and when they want something, they know which button to press.
How to control it2dsd
If you are helpless with the situation, don’t lose heart. You are not alone. Everybody, almost everybody, who has a tween or teenage kid is going through the same. The first thing you need to do is take control back in your hands. It’s not late yet, actually it’s never too late to take control of things. Give a clear message to the kid, misbehaving will not work, sitting and talking it out will. Do not give into temper tantrums, even if it becomes embarrassing for you in public. Sometimes you might give in because you are too tired to deal with it and giving in is just, plain easy way out. But refrain from doing that. You’ll just give another control to your kid that way.
It is your duty as a parent to teach your kid to learn to deal with problems and demands in a reasonable manner. It will be great life lesson that will help then as adults as well. Here are a few things you can do:
- Set clear rules against misconduct. Tolerate embarrassment a few times if you have to, but do not give in. Explain the child that talking and explaining will work, misbehaving won’t.
- Listen to your child, she might be craving your attention for all you know and there might be a genuine problem. For instance, your kid might not be wanting to go to the aunt’s house for the Holiday. Kids have their reasons, don’t undermine them. On the other hand, try and solve the problem, like you’ll let her take her iPad along, or something else. But again, it shouldn’t sound like a bribe, because then you’ll fall in the bribery trap.
- Do not be loud or threatening while you are setting rules. Be reasonable. Fear will make her insecure and crop emotional problems in the kid.
- If the conversation turns into an argument and ultimately a fight, walk out of it. Do not allow the child to talk to you in a rude tone. Don’t talk until the kid talks in reasonably respectful manner.
- Reward or at least acknowledge her good behavior.
It won’t happen overnight. But get started now and you’ll be a happy parent as the rationale sets in.
May you have a great time with your loved ones. Happy holidays!