Wednesday, 30 March 2016

Published Wednesday, March 30, 2016 with 10 comments

Know Thy Child to Come out of Delusion

Are you a delusional parent? Here’s how you can come out of it.

It’s genetic I guess. We always believe that our children are the sweetest, smartest and the greatest bundles of joy around. We think they are way better athletes than they actually are. We over believe in our children. Optimism is good. But often coaches face trouble when parents tend to totally overlook concern areas of their children like overweight or sports weakness or any fitness concern. If you do not acknowledge the concern area, how would you address it?

Understanding your child, her performance and her overall personality objectively is very important. As a parent its painfully difficult to do so. Nonetheless it’s important. Here are a few points to help you see things how they are and not how you think they are.

Talk to the coach: Mostly parent-coach interactions are more inclined towards the child’s sports performance. And that is mainly because that’s how most parents want it to be. But whenever you get a chance to, do have a frank talk with the coach. Make a note of the things you need to specifically work on.

Talk to the child: Ask you child about all the difficulties or shortcomings she is facing. If there is an area of concern for her, she will most likely know about it and may speak it out too. Go easy on the child. She might not acknowledge the pain instantly. More so, she may not be willing to share her weakness so soon.

Be in the stands: Practice session or game day, be in the stands. Observe your child amongst others in the team. Watch her tact and game sense.

Although there’s a lot you can do but these steps can help you a long way in getting an objective picture in your head. Remember, this exercise is just to face the fact. Do not, under any circumstances, push the child to the wall for her weaknesses. Talk to the child, motivate her, spend some no-agenda time with her. Any extreme, whether ignoring the problem or nagging the child about the problem, would have a very negative impact on the child’s psychology. It would need a lot of maturity, sensibility and sensitivity to deal with the situation. You might need counselling or professional help. Talk to the coach or the doctor and please do take professional help if needed.
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Monday, 21 March 2016

Published Monday, March 21, 2016 with 6 comments

When Your Child Wants To Quit a Sport

Children today face a lot of competition, especially in sports. Given the immense pressure and stress kids are exposed to, it is just natural for them to fall out or drift away.

Many parents often tell us how their children want to quit their sports training, sports club or the school team. More often than not there are weird reasons told by kids to their parents for leaving. And any attempt to motivate the child often lands as putting pressure which further worsens things. So how should parents handle a situation like this? If letting the kid quit is not a good option, making the child continue is not a great choice either because when the kid is already worked up, there is no point adding to the pressure.

It is indeed a difficult situation and needs a lot of patience and discretion while dealing with it. A good place to start would be understanding the pain area. Take a walk in the park, play a game, spend some casual fun time with your child. When the child is relaxed, she is more likely to open up. That would perhaps be the right time to discuss the problem.

Here are a few tips to help you through the counselling session with your kid:

  • Listen carefully and patiently. Do not interrupt while the kid is talking it out. Start speaking only when the kid is done talking.
  • Do not let your maturity judge the situation. The problem might be small for you but from the child’s perspective it might be massive.
  • Acknowledge the pain. Do not belittle the child by saying it is a silly problem.

When the child has talked it out, presenting the kid a solution to the problem might sound like the best option. However natural the instinct is, you should resist it. Do not imply a solution you think is best. Give options of possible solutions. Discuss pro and cons of each situation, tell which option you fell is the best solution and why, and based on reasoning, let the child pick her option. Whether the solution works out or not, either ways it will be a great leaning experience for the kid. And in the long run this one learning will become an integral part of the adult your kid grows up into.

Have you handled a similar situation? Please share your experience with us in the comments below.

But at the same time there are certain techniques that coaches would ideally pass on to their teams that can be termed as the crux of their experience, the game techniques that make a team win. How ethical these techniques are or not, is a call parents and coaches would need to take together. The question is how much are you willing to compromise for your child’s victory in a game? Parents would have to take their own call. After all your child’s future is at stake.
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